September 1, 2011


Kindergarten Orientation was tonight.

Daniel is going to do so good in school.

Meanwhile, there were a few “high maintenance” parents in there.

See, at our school, they take the kids on a little bus ride, to practice for field trips.

And while the kids are riding the bus, the parents go back to the classroom and can talk to the teacher and ask any questions they might have.

These are the questions the poor, poor woman got asked, while myself and another mom, who I decided I liked, tried not to fall to the floor in hysterics.

“When do you test for the gifted program?”

“Are you sure that you have enough experience to be teaching my child? Because my daughter is special.”

“I know that the school doesn’t want a bunch of parents in the room the first day, but I’m going to stay until they’re ready for me to leave. Will that be a problem?”

“When do you start grading the kids?”

“What books are you reading this year?”

“What if my child has special needs? Are you going to be able to work with them one on one?”

And ON and ON and ON.

There was one particular lady that is CONVINCED her child is a genius. And when she learned that they don’t really make kindergarteners do advanced reading comprehension tests, she had to wonder out loud if this was really the right place for her son. Who was eating the fake fruit at the play kitchen.

Another lady was having separation anxiety. Not her kid, HER.

And another lady launched into a diatribe about meeting her sons special needs, and I was wondering if maybe he was, you know, SPECIAL NEEDS special needs, but then she clarified that he wasn’t, in fact, THAT kind of special. He just has special needs. As in, special treatment.

And one parent asked if it was a peanut free school (no), so the teacher asked in all seriousness, is your child allergic to peanuts? Because we will take special precautions… and the answer was no.  The lady was just curious.

Of course, I have to tell you about another mom who basically offered to buy some computers for classroom use. Because she sees that there are only 4, and SURELY that’s not enough. FOR A CLASSROOM OF FIVE YEAR OLDS…. Typing. It’s the new penmanship.