April 11, 2019

Spring Broken

So we had Spring Break.

Thaddeus kicked it off by accidentally almost cutting his finger off with a machete. Yes, you read that right. WITH A MACHETE. So we got to head to the urgent care, where he received 8 stitches AFTER an x-ray to make sure he didn't chip his bone. (He didn't.) He also had to do a fun exam to make sure that there wasn't any nerve damage.(There isn't.)

And we got to have a super full house for spring break. Blayne came up with my parents, and we had some friends from VIRGINIA!!! come to visit as well. Kaela and Blayne got to be silly together for the first time in, gosh, five years? It was pretty exciting. Kaela was accompanied by her parents, so the rest of us got to have some fun too. We just love their whole family.

The kids all went to the temple to do baptisms for the dead. I stayed home because I have MS, and it was being a real *ss that day. We also had a movie night, and a game night, and a couple sit-around-and-chat nights. Basically, it was a low key spring break with some of our favorite people. WIN.

And now everyone has gone back to their respective homes, and school has started again, and I'm back to my regularly scheduled days of..... well, whatever I want really. Actually, I just have a mental list and I go down that list one by one, asking myself , " Self: do you have enough energy to do this?" And most of the time, the answer is not really. It's quite obnoxious. Like, I KNOW I can't clean my whole bathroom. But I'm pretty sure I could clean the toilet, and probably the sink. It's just how it is these days.

I also managed to have 3 mini MS attacks. Those are always fun. Have I ever told you about an MS hug? They hurt. Real bad. Like, I can't move or breathe or anything besides lay in the fetal position and cry.  The "hug" feels like a vice, gripped just under your breast and around the ribs, slowly tightening so hard that you feel like your body is going to be snapped in two. The worst part is the beginning, when it first grabs hold. I took a few pain pills, because I KNEW what was going to happen next, but pills take 20-30 minutes to work. And I didn't make it to my bed in time, so I literally collapsed beside my bed. As the pressure increased, so did the pain. It felt as though my ribs were breaking, and the sharp, jagged edges were slowly puncturing my organs. I could do nothing to stop the torment as waves of pain began to travel down my spine. As I lay sobbing on the floor, I kept telling myself to breathe, in through the nose, out through the mouth; one, two, three, four, five. I called for Troy as I exhaled, hoping he heard my cries. He put me into bed, then hurried to the basement for the ice packs, because my body temperature was on the rise. My fever broke four hours later, as did the excruciating crush of the hug.

There is something that happens to your mind when instances of agony have become commonplace. It is a disconnect, as though your spirit leaves the body, hovering from above, so that you don't feel the enormity of the pain. It is a weird, yet wonderful feeling, because then *I* am not hurting, that other Caroline is.

I had three of these hugs during spring break. Thankfully, they were less debilitating the second and third times.

And now, today, people are back at school, and I am still in my pajamas, because I am not yet fully recovered. This is also why I can't possibly clean the whole bathroom at the same time. Isn't life grand? 

March 20, 2019


My body straight up QUIT on me last week. I was trying to describe it, and really, the only other time I've had such painful muscle spasms was during CHILDBIRTH... specifically, when I was experiencing back labor. So I got to use my handy dandy walker to get places, and my fun kids got to fetch my pills and help me get from my bed to the bathroom and back again. Thankfully, it only lasted about two days, but I think I need to start getting spinal injections. I'm also really thankful for TV, which helps keep me distracted from the searing, white hot pangs of death.

I have also had feedback from my children that they would like better descriptions of my state of health beyond my usual "I don't feel good". According to them, I never feel good, so if I feel worse than usual, they would like specifics. I guess I can accommodate.

Meanwhile, I am busy trying to get the relief society ministering interviews scheduled. I usually only have two districts to worry about, but since it's the last month of the quarter, I am trying to get in touch with anybody that hasn't had their interview yet. And I hate the word interview in this case, because it's so formal. I mean, it technically IS an interview, but it's also not? I don't know. I just have feelings about the verbiage is all. Plus I have to call people ON THE PHONE. Ugh. Phone calls are the dumbest and give me anxiety.

Also, the last term of the school year started! I have a love/hate relationship with school. Actually, I have a love/hate relationship with most things, and I think most people do. There are very few things that I love all the time, and there are very few things that I hate all the time. Mostly, I'm wishy-washy about the vast majority of things, and I have completely forgotten what I was going to say, because tangents are just the right amount of distraction. I have no idea what I was getting on about. Even the first sentence of this paragraph isn't helpful enough, because I can see that I have ended the sentence with an exclamation point, and now that I'm thinking about it, what is so exciting about a new school term? That means we are one step closer to summer, yes, but it also means we are one step closer to having kids home all day, every day, which means I need to start planning NOW, because the children are coming! My goodness, I can write a mean run-on sentence.

Now I'm off to do something, though I can't remember what that something is. Fingers crossed I figure it out soon. 

March 14, 2019

Dreaming of Warmer Weather

I've been updating the coding on some of my old websites, and MAN ALIVE, you stop computering for a year or two and suddenly you're illiterate. I also forgot how much hurry up and wait is involved in the back-end of things. It's like the internet has other things to do besides immediately index my changes. RUDE.

Meanwhile, I'm trying to get our summer plans coordinated, but it's not going too well because I don't have all the necessary calendars. I need people to be on the ball with calendars and schedules! So far, the only person registered for school next year is Taylor, because we weren't waiting on a boundary variance for her. And we applied for a boundary variance for Thaddeus (you know, because we LIVE CLOSER to that high school) and it was denied. And we were going to appeal the decision, but the other day, we got a letter saying that he actually WOULD be able to attend the requested school. I guess they had extra openings for sophomores. HOWEVER, this now means that Thaddeus will go to one high school, and the other kids, well.... maybe not. Whatever happened to just going to the school you live by? WHEN DID THIS BECOME A PROBLEM FOLKS? 

Meanwhile #2: it's snowing again. Has been for the last 2 days. Not a lot, and it's not sticking, but I would really like my yard to start greening up and flowering again. I LOVE my backyard. LOVE LOVE LOVE. Have I ever shown you pictures? Hang on a sec....

Okay, these are some of the flowers in my front yard. I have just now realized that I need to take photos when everything is in bloom all at once. I have a lot of perennials, which I LOVE because no maintenance.
For the most part, I grow pretty things in the front yard, and I grow FOOD in the back garden,  with some flowers here and there to discourage certain naughty bugs, and encourage bees and butterflies.

I have three huge dogwood bushes that I like to cut them into shapes.
I actually want to take those big old shrubs OUT, and replace them with blueberry bushes for two reasons: 1. Blueberries are delicious and pretty, and  2. I'm allergic to dogwood. I had to get rid of a few other perennials due to allergies, and the 3 big dogwood bushes are pretty much my last allergy problem to eliminate.

I have two big rhubarb plants. If you are looking for a gorgeous plant, I vote rhubarb. It's just a bonus that you can eat the stems. Rhubarb is a perennial, so it comes back on it's own, year after year. It's hardy, and both heat and cold tolerant. It's HUGE, so it is definitely a statement plant, and you can eat it too! I also really love that it's SOUR when eaten raw... like, SUPER sour, and that's my favorite! But when cooked or combined with other fruits, it can bulk up the recipe without altering the intended flavor profile. AND it's a cut and come again type of plant. It's one of the earliest producers, and on the first harvest, I got eighteen pounds of stalks. And I easily get at least three harvests like that. RHUBARB FOR LIFE.

Here are some of my strawberries: 

And here's two more pictures of my early harvest. 
Oh friends, I just love playing in the dirt! But I guess while I'm waiting for the ground to thaw I can be productive in the house.