October 26, 2014

Toddlers were way easier to deal with

We had a family council/come-to-Jesus meeting tonight. The kids have been making some pretty poor choices lately, so we all sat down and had a talk. Mostly, me and Troy did the talking, and the children did all the crying and complaining. We even made a list of behaviors and consequences, with the consequences getting more severe with each infraction. For example, you hit someone, that's 25 sit-ups. You do it again, it jumps to 100. Hit someone a third time, that's 300 sit-ups. We've obviously been having serious issues with keeping our hands to ourselves.  We even went into what would happen if they hit someone outside this house, which is a whole other issue I can't even begin to delve in to. (Seriously though, you wouldn't hit your friend, because then they wouldn't be your friend. What makes you think it's okay to hit your family? Answer: IT'S NOT.) Anyways, I explained that if you hit people at school, you get suspended or even expelled. And since they're getting older, they're reaching a magical age where if you were to hit someone, the police would be called. And then you would probably have to go to juvenile detention, which is JAIL.... FOR CHILDREN.

I also fully realize that some people will think I'm being harsh. My answer to that is get over it. I am their parent, and it is my job to help turn these short little people into reasonably well adjusted and even tempered adults. And if that means taking away choices, so be it.

Also: I *may* have opened a brand new bar of soap and given it a place of honor in the kitchen where everyone can see it. Because, you know, filthy little mouths need to get washed out every now and then. And yes, we went with BAR SOAP, because have you ever taken a bit out of a bar of soap? It's entirely unpleasant, and it gets into all the nooks and crannies of your teeth, and the tasted lingers. As does the reminder that you shouldn't use those words, especially when talking to your wonderfully loving parents who have so graciously provided you with food, clothing, shelter, and most recently, hand crafted Halloween costumes.

The Xbox power cord has also been removed for the forseeable future. This is a mighty blow to the two oldest children who fancy themselves famous YouTube-ers. Tablets have been turned in to Troy, and they may be checked out for 30 minutes per day, provided all of your responsibilities are done, including a mandatory forty five minutes of active play. (For Pete's sake, why do children not realize how fun it is to play hide and seek and see how many jumps they can get in a row?)

At any rate, the expectations have been laid out in black and white, and we will see how it goes tomorrow. I predict some heavy wailing and gnashing of teeth.

October 22, 2014

Not even sure I read what I wrote. Thsi is because I'm extremely tire and have been robotically typing for the last however long.

My house is in full Halloween upheaval. It's a big fat mess, but it's a GOOD mess. 

Today, I busted out the power tools and cut a few weapons to go along with our costumes. Here's the thing, Thaddeus is going to be Steve from Minecraft, and Daniel is going to be a creeper. Easy peasy, I got two cardboard boxes, painted them up, and voila! Costume done! Except that Steve always has a sword or a pickaxe. I mean, how can you MINE if you don't have an AX? And the prices on pre-made craptastic foam swords and axes is $20 a piece. Uh.... no thanks. Instead, I went to Lowes, picked up a plank of wood, brought it home, and made all our various weapons. Plus, Taylor has a battle ax (not to be confused with a diamond pick ax) and a shield; she's going to be a Viking Warrior Princess. (And don't even get me STARTED on that girl's costume dreams... She's not very happy with me right now because I won't make her plaid super hero bottoms, which is the nice way to say she wants a pair of plaid underwear, and only red and black plaids please.... give me a break.)

At any rate, my home looks like it has exploded. And as I'm preparing to go to bed, I'm very grateful that my kids are old enough that I don't have to put away the saw, exacto knives, staple guns, and other various dangerous items.... because I know they won't touch it! It's pretty much the best thing ever. 

Meanwhile, I've been thinking a lot about babies lately. Mostly on account of my sisters all having babies this last year. For reals. Verity, Meredith, Berit, and Maria all had babies, plus some friends around here had some babies, which makes me nostalgic for when my kids were little chubby babies. It was so easy when they were little. Yes, life was monotonous, and aggravating, but it was a sweet time too. Babies are easy. They cry when they're hungry or hurt. They're cheerful, like, all the time. I would very much like to bottle some of that cheer up and then spritz it on various children when the need arises. 

We are going through a sassy, back talking phase right now. I am trying my dardenst to nip it in the bud, but the ATTITUDES of some of the kiddos.... Man alive, I want to just haul off and slap them upside the head! I don't, because, you know, we try really hard to not hit each other. It's kind of  one of those "big rules" I like every one to follow,... You know, keep your damn hands to  yourself! ... Ah, the joys of parenting. 

The kids are doing pretty good in school. Thaddeus "forgets" his homework at school almost every day. It's getting on my very last nerve. Also, I'm pretty sure that Daniel hasn't been giving me notes from his teachers and speech therapists, because all the sudden! This needs to be signed! And he was supposed to practice his "r's" with me, and, And, AND. I'm telling you, this homework nonsense is driving me crazy. 

The girls are also doing well. Blayne is taking in her book report diaroma tomottow. Naturally, it was some book about some dog. Because we only like dog things. (Which makes me wonder, why didn't she want to be a dog for Halloween? Not that I'm complaining. Princess Fairies are wonderfully easy costumes.)

And now, as my eyes are refusing to work, and my brain is slowing down, I'm going to sign off. Good night! 

P.S.  Bullet point on my resume: Able to type while sleeping. Two points griffindor. 

October 12, 2014

October 12, 2014

I have had a rough week. I spent most of Friday at Urgent Care, where they were trying to figure out what was wrong. Turns out, I have stomach ulcers. So that's fun. Today, I'm standing up straight for the first time in over a week. (It was much less painful to be curled up in the fetal position with a heating pad before.)

Also, we are going to be implementing new Xbox rules around here. I am sick to death of Minecraft and all things Minecraft related. Thaddeus' career goal is to be a famous YouTuber who posts Minecraft tutorials. Gag me. They're actually making a video right now, and I just don't get it. Oh well, there's things I like that they don't. (However, the things that I like don't occupy my whole mind every moment of every day, and I am still able to have conversations about things OUTSIDE of my personal interests.) I have even instituted a new dinner rule called: No talking about Minecraft at the table. See also: NOBODY CARES.

Tomorrow is Columbus Day. This is a dumb holiday, and means that my kids don't have to go to school. I have no idea what we'll do instead, but I'm sure it will involve my kicking the kids outside, then locking the door... Because I have to force people to act like children.

I also want to color my hair. I don't know if I want to go darker or lighter though. Probably lighter, but no guarantees there. Ooh, also, we have paid off a credit card. It feels pretty good. Pretty much my whole paycheck goes to paying off my medical bills and such. It's super fun to have multiple diseases that require whole teams of specialists.