October 20, 2008


I used to enjoy cleaning. And somehow, somewhere, I lost that joy.

Seriously, nothing would make me feel better than a freshly vacuumed carpet, the hum of the dishwasher and the aroma of dinner wafting through the house. I took pride in my homemaking skills.

And it was easy. It was a simple thing to clean up the bathroom everyday because it only took 2 minutes. Dusting was a breeze because there wasn't much to do. The same goes for laundry, and meal planning.

Somewhere along the way, I lost my desire to make my house my home. Laundry piles up, garbage rots away, and the baby just put something in her mouth and I'm not 100% certain that it was a raisin.

I think a it of it comes down to choices.

I made a conscious decision to NOT switch over the laundry and instead hung out on Plurk all night.

I chose NOT to make a dinner plan and go into crisis mode every day at 4:30.

I chose to NOT put myself first, and it's coming back to bite me big time.

The thing of it is, you would never guess I wasn't putting me first. From the looks of things, it seems like I can't take care of my house because I'm so wrapped up in myself.

What I keep forgetting is, I can't take care of myself if I don't take care of those other things.

It's hard to get cleaned up when the shower is atrocious and there is no clean laundry. It's hard to get grocery shopping done when you don't have a plan. It's hard to live when all those seemingly small tasks begin to overpower you at every turn.

SO I'm going into cleansing mode.

We don't need so much stuff. We don't need so many toys, and clothes, and books. I don't need to check my email 87 times a day. It will all be there tomorrow.

But what won't be there is the family gathered around the table, enjoying each other.

What won't be there are the giggles and the smiles and the discussions about robot squirrels.

What won't be there are the million memories that I'm wasting because I can't tear myself away from the computer.

So today I'm going to start fresh.

I'm going to catch up on the laundry.

I'm going to put on some really loud music and dust and dance.

I'm going to make cookies, and snuggle with my babies, and maybe go for a walk.

I'm going to make myself a home.

It's all about Perspective, ya' know?