November 15, 2007

Ebay Catalog

I got one in the mail today. And my first thought was, "They have a catalog?"

Seriously? Isn't Ebay supposed to be like, a big online garage sale? Why on earth do they have a catalog? So I flip it open because, well, it was probably the only decent mail we got today. (Ick, I hate getting mortgage applications and credit card applications, and all that junk.) Anyways. I start looking through it and I've decided that it's probably just about the dumbest thing I've ever seen in my life.

It's a random compilation of items. And instead of an actual price? They have AVERAGE prices listed. Seriously. And they are advertising dumb stuff! I'm talking D-U-M-B. Now, if I was going to put together a catalog of all the stuff that I wanted to get rid of, I'm not going to sell you my used baby bottles, I'm gonna sell you my, I don't know, something amazing! See, because I thought the point of a catalog was to dazzle and maybe even reel you in a little bit and then BAM! I hook you and THEN sell you my used baby bottles.

My other problem is the stuff that you would consider buying? By the time you factor in shipping and handling, you might as well just have gone to the store and bought the SAME thing brand spanking new.

In MY Ebay Catalog:

Original Works by Up and Coming young artist

The BookCouch. You'll never need to look for reading material again!

autographed photo of Donny Osmond

Genuine Horse's Rear Trophy
for truly outstanding performances

Banana Dog
I just looked in the pantry one day and my banana's had sprouted!
It must be a sign from above.

this genius button can save you many a painful hour

a Giant Thumb. You don't want to find this in your Wendy's chili!

The only knife you'll ever need! So strong it cuts through steel!

Get the skinny. Get the bag.

The affordable way to BBQ.

Bidding is now open.