August 1, 2011

“It will only hurt a bit”

I’m not typically a queasy person, but this new “phase” that I’m in, where I’m continually poked and prodded with sharp objects, has been giving me slight anxiety attacks.

For example, the day before my lumbar puncture, I couldn’t breathe, and I felt like I had spiders crawling up and down my spine. Of course, it’s my own fault for trying to mentally prepare myself before hand, and “read up” on what was going to happen. Then it was like a bad train wreck where I didn’t want to read the side effects and reactions, but I couldn’t NOT know either.

IT IS COMPLETELY RUINING THE INTERNET FOR ME.

Then today, I had another appointment, and I wasn’t sure whether or not they were going to do a biopsy or not.  Of course, being myself, I had to read up on that particular type of biopsy where I discovered that they don’t just poke you once or twice, oh no, they do it between 4 and 6 times. Which means that I will have a needle going in to my neck MORE THAN ONCE.  I was positively beside myself, because even though it SAYS it won’t hurt, I have taken to not trusting anyone.

Also: When they say, it’s not going to hurt, it’s just going to be like a little bee sting, I always wonder, have you ever actually been STUNG by a bee? Because that crap hurts. I would even venture to say that a bee sting hurts more than a scorpion sting, and I KNOW THIS FOR A FACT, because I have been stung by both. And at least with a scorpion, wherever you were stung has the good grace to go numb. Bee stings STING and ITCH and are very unpleasant.

At any rate, TODAY I just had some ultrasounds and got new meds, so it’s like I had an anxiety attack for nothing.  Which is annoying to think that I wasted all that good time worrying and “researching” when I could have been watching television.

But next week, I get to get stuck in the neck a couple of times, so I am planning on taking some really amazing drugs just about 30 minutes before my appointment. When I don’t punch the doctor in the face, I’m sure he’ll thank me for my efforts.

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