August 24, 2015


Alright. I am going to put it out there: I need to lose weight.

I have had a bad year with my MS, and have had to do a LOT of steroids. And every round of steroids adds 10 pounds... no joke. So I'm about 45 pounds heavier than I was last year at this time, and it is SO not okay. (Especially, because 45 pounds ago, I still wanted to lose another 20...)

This means that I have some GOALS.  And you will probably laugh at them, but I have to take baby steps people.


  1. Go to bed by 10 pm. 
  2. Get out of bed at 6 am
  3. Walk around the block
  4. Eat more protein
  5.  Stop with the Soda
So those are my starting goals. They will change, no doubt, but I have to start somewhere. AND! I was in bed before 10pm last night. It was pretty exciting for me. Normally, I just hang out at night, watching TV while I crochet or fold laundry. But I need to sleep better, and establishing a set bedtime will help me in the long run. 

Getting up in the morning hasn't been a problem, but just because I'm AWAKE doesn't mean I'm out of bed. This morning, I was awake, and then Taylor came to snuggle, followed by Daniel. So we snuggled in bed and watched Property Brothers. 

Walking around the block. Guys, this is a hard one for me. Do you know there are days when I literally don't even leave my house? I mean, I open the windows, and I look at the backyard and watch the kids playing and stuff, but I NEVER GO OUTSIDE. Even if I just go outside to check the mail, that's moving. But I figure, I need to put on my shoes, get out the door, and just walk. I'm starting with only once around, because BABY STEPS. 

Eating more protein... I have been HORRIBLE with my nutrition lately. It's horrible when you know WHAT you should eat to make you feel good, and then you eat something else. I have fallen back into some yuck-o habits, and I need to kick them to the curb! I just need to be more conscious of what I'm eating, so that I can lose some serious poundage. I am making a LIST, and I am going SHOPPING, and I am going to EAT WELL IF IT KILLS ME. 

Which means: No. More. Soda. I have a problem, because I am addicted to Dr. Pepper. It's bad guys. I think about a year ago, or maybe a little more... I had totally cut Dr. Pepper out of my life. I didn't drink any soda at all. It was all water, and sometimes a protein drink, for me. But then I got really sick. I had a horrible relapse, I was in bed, and my head, I can't begin to describe the pain in my head when I have a relapse. It's like my brain is too big for my head, I can't see, I can't hear, I can't even stand up straight. The room spins around me, and all I do is lay in bed, with my hands gripping the sheets, and I tell myself "It's not real. The room isn't spinning. You are not moving." Meanwhile, it's like someone is digging a tunnel in my head with a pick ax. I have auras, double vision, ear pain, jaw pain, tinnitus... and that's just the beginning. I become so nauseated that I have to throw up, but the physical movement that accompanies the vomiting makes my head feel worse. It's a horrible cycle that just doesn't go away. I have medicine, which helps sometimes, but the side effects aren't that super. The BEST one I have, tightens all my blood vessels. It constricts ALL of them. So my brain stops throbbing, but my chest and neck are so tight, that I feel like I'm choking.. like someone has taken a belt and put it around my neck, and is pulling it tighter, and tighter.... 

So I had one of my super awesome migraines during a relapse, and I had a Dr. Pepper to make me feel better, because the thought of it didn't make me want to throw up. So I had one... then I had another one... and another one... and now, I drink it all the time, and it's total nonsense. I NEED TO STOP. 

At any rate, I am going to be a new person. A better person. A non-caffeinated person... Heaven help me.