December 9, 2011

Fast in Advance

Thaddeus' head is much better today. Fortunately, where he split it is hidden by his hair, which I am now NOT going to cut before his baptism. I will trim around his ears, but, you know, cover the bloody scab part. 

He did get a special treat at school from his teacher, and he made sure to show all the neighborhood kids just where he busted his head open. Because when you're eight, bloody scabs on your head are cool. 

And TODAY when he got home from school, he hung up his jacket, and then yelled at everyone else to hang up their jackets, because "that's so dangerous! That's how I busted my head! JACKETS ARE SLIPPERY!" 

I'm glad that he got special treatment for his wound. 

I got my own special treatment today. 

It all started when my neurologist informed me that while yes, a stomach ache can be a side effect of the medication I'm on, stomach PAIN is not. And then he asked me something else which I also answered wrong, and then magically, I was in another doctor's office on the other side of town being evaluated for pain. Which then got me sent to an imaging place where I got to cut everyone else in line and received dirty looks from all the patients in the waiting room that DID have appointments. I can't help it if I'm a walking emergency. 

And do you know why else this is funny? Because every time I go to the doctor, I end up needing some kind of test or bloodwork where I should be fasting. So now, every time I have an appointment, I fast in advance.... just in case. Because, HELLO, case in point, if I hadn't have been fasting, then I would have had to wait until tomorrow to get my blood work and imaging done, and since tomorrow is Saturday, I probably would have had to wait all weekend. But since I am a prepared individual, I got to spend a delightful 6 hours with doctors TODAY. 

And I got into it with the lady at the neurologist office, because she was all "You have an outstanding balance." and I was all, "Nuh-uh." and then I stood there and stared at her until she said she would double check somewhere and LOW AND BEHOLD I was right. Which was the only comfortable part of my day. 

I'm just saying, that when a girl is having stomach pain, and you have her lay on a table while you press a doppler wand "firmly" in between her ribs and against all the parts of her that hurt? She goes home and curls into the fetal position because she feels like she just got beat.

At any rate, I am home, I have two new prescriptions, and I'm going to spend all weekend self-diagnosing myself via google. I hope I'm not contagious.