July 16, 2011

“Air Quote”

I was searching online for a topic to write about tonight (I don’t want to talk about my health all the time. GAH. Enough with that already.) and all of the suggestions were lame and not applicable to me.

So then I decided that I should just “free write” because, you know, I should do things like that more often. Besides, it also allows me to use “air quotes” and talk about myself, which is why you really read my blog anyways. (Don’t lie, I know it’s true.)

I have read 4 books in the last 2 days. I think that, that might sound like a lot of books to some of you, but I have always been a “fast reader” (look at that, more air quotes), which is why I so desperately need suggestions. Of course, I think that even though I gave you my criteria, I think that you were holding back on me. Especially because of when I said:

I need to not have bad things happen to children.

Here is the thing, I can read a book where children die and/or are killed. What I was referring to is that I do not like to read graphic depictions of sexual abuse. Of course, this extends beyond children, and includes, you know, every living thing under the sun. So, if there is a book that you wanted to recommend, but you thought that I wouldn’t like it because someone died, then you should tell me what it is anyways. Unless of course, it’s graphic depictions of sexual abuse. Because, you know, I can’t unread those, and it makes me sad on the inside, and then I don’t let my kids venture anywhere outside of the house for weeks, and I have to obsessively check the locks on the doors and windows and check to make sure that no little Bingham’s have gone missing from under my nose, and it makes me miss Arizona and our 8 foot tall cinderblock fences.

Speaking of fences, that is one of the things that I miss most. Did you know that in my neighborhood, you’re not allowed to have a fence more than 4 feet high? And that some people choose not to have a fence at all? IT’S JUST WEIRD.  I want to buy a big house, with a big yard, and the first thing I’m going to do is put up a big fence all the way around. Because it helps me sleep good at night.

What would also help me sleep good at night would be to actually be on the right kind of medications. (Crap, there’s that health thing again.) So far, I haven’t been given any of the MS drugs, because I think we’re still not quite done testing. (I get to give joint fluid on the 29th. Doesn’t that sound delightful?) I think that the doctors don’t want to start me on anything until they decide on all the diseases I do have, because they want to know what I’m like unmedicated. And what I am is really stinking exhausted.

I’ll have you know that I’ve been going to bed at a very reasonable hour, and I cannot for the life of me GET UP in the morning. Usually, Troy has to rip back the covers and say, “GET OUT OF BED, I’M LEAVING FOR WORK” before I even think about opening my eyes. And not only that, but I also am taking NAPS. Which, I will admit, is a mighty fine luxury, except for during summer vacation. Because I will fall asleep on the couch, with the kids all around me screaming and playing.  Napping on demand is a skill that I’m sure many mothers would love to have, except that when you have just read a book about kidnapping, and you live in a fenceless neighborhood, and there is unpleasant background noise, well, it’s not a very restful kind of a nap, because you have terrible dreams about the most horrific things, and then you’re jarred back into reality when a flying toys hits you, and you wake up ready to kill someone…. my children will most definitely need therapy when they grow up.

What was I talking about again? Oh yes, medications.

Did you know that the medications for MS have to be administered as injections? And that eventually, I suspect that a doctor will expect me to give my own self shots? Isn’t that the most terrible news in the world? (Just nod your head yes.) Okay, maybe that is a bit melodramatic, but who wants to administer their own shots? And of course, I’ll have to do it myself, because there is no way that I would let the DadGuy be in charge of that. He would do it ever so slowly, WHILE LAUGHING, and I just know for certain that it would be an unpleasant experience. I have so much faith in my husband.

And that completes this portion of today’s blog.