April 20, 2009

Miss Manners

Our good friends were in town this past week. It was tons of fun having them here, and we got to go swimming at their hotel, and we even saw some show choirs (who have NOTHING on Zac Efron.... and yes, I was comparing every single boy on stage to Zac. You would too.)

After the show wrapped up, the kids were starving. DadGuy insisted that we go to Five Guys because they make a really good burger and since they don't have them in Arizona, we just HAD to eat there so our friends could have the Five Guys experience.

Now, if you've ever been inside a burger joint, you have the basic set up of Five Guys. You walk straight up to a counter, there's too many tables crammed into too small of a place, and it's packed.

But we picked a good time because we found three tables !TOGETHER! and herded all the shortlings over.

We sat them down, asked them what they wanted on their burgers, and sent DadGuy up to the counter. DadGuy ordered everyone's food, and then asked me to come up and tell them what I wanted.

No problem. I was literally less than four feet away from my kids. So I went up to the counter and told her my order. Mushrooms, Onions, Lettuce, Tomato, Mustard, light Ketchup. I turned back around and Taylor was sitting on the floor, staring at the lady next to us.

I went over to Taylor, picked her up, and set her in her chair. Then I went back to the counter to grab napkins.

When I went back to sit down, the lady next to us says:

"You know, you're really rude."

I turned my head. I'm sure my face was a mixture of confusion/horror. I asked, "Who? Me?"

"Yeah, you're really rude. I was trying to help because your baby fell and she could have got really hurt. I wasn't doing anything wrong, I wasn't trying to hurt her. I was helping her and you didn't even say thank you to me and I was raised with manners. I could have just let her fall....."

On and on and on it went. With finger wagging and eyebrow raising and everything.

Now, I consider myself a polite individual. Even when I don't like someone, I can be cordial. But honest to goodness, I had no idea what she was talking about.

There was no CRASH. There were no TEARS. No chair legs scraping the floors, nothing to hint that anyone had fallen. I saw my almost two year old, 4th monkey child, kamikaze girl, calmly sitting on the floor staring at a lady with big shiny earrings.

I don't even know that she fell.

The lady then proceeded to tell the table behind us all about HOW RUDE I WAS and can you believe that I didn't apologize and how she would NEVER because she was RAISED WITH MANNERS and if she had only known that, she wouldn't have tried to help.

I was livid. I am STILL livid.

First off, I wasn't aware of anything happening. My children, ALL of them, are more than capable of getting in and out of a chair on their own.

Secondly, when a child DOES fall, there is usually some inclination that they fell. In fact, I'd say that 99% of the time, there is physical evidence of a fall.

Thirdly, a person who was "raised with manners" wouldn't demand an apology NOR would she suggest that she wouldn't have helped a child in need if she didn't know she wasn't going to GET an apology.

Fourthly, you can be damn certain that pointing out other people's bad manners is not, in fact, a testament to your "good manners"

I mean, if ANYTHING, I'm the one with good manners in this situation. And no, I am NOT going to appease you and offer an apology for something that probably didn't happen. Especially not after you've gone on a tirade against me and my kids and have started snarking to everyone within earshot.

In fact, I would say that you should be glad that I didn't say anything. Because I was *thisclose* to getting into it with you, a random stranger, in front of my children. BUT I DIDN'T. Because I was raised to believe that:

"A test of good manners is being able to tolerate bad ones."

So when it comes down to it, crazy lady at the burger joint, I'm the one with good manners. Not you.... most definitely, NOT. YOU.