March 3, 2009

Accident Prone

I'm accident prone. Accident prone like nobody's business. I trip when I'm walking. I fall down the stairs almost daily. I am known to walk straight into walls. It's not that I don't pay attention. I do, it just doesn't help. I've broken my wrists, shattered my elbow, busted open my skull, tore tendons, and ligaments. I've been stitched up too many times to count, and I have scars, upon scars, upon scars.

But hands down, the dumbest accident I ever had, happened during a church youth activity, the Wacky Swim Meet.

The Wacky Swim Meet was held every year, to mark the end of summer. There were the traditional pool games, like Shark and Minnow, and there were silly games, like Watermelon Polo, where you would try to put a Vaseline covered watermelon into the other teams net.

And of course, we had the three arm, three leg relay race.

I was a strong swimmer, I was on a swim team, and I took state for Butterfly. Naturally, I was chosen to swim the relay. Tied up to another girl.

I'm a competitive person by nature. I HAVE to win. I love competing, even if it's just for a silly youth activity.

When the whistle blew, I took off. I dragged that girl behind me as I pushed my way to the front. I was the first swimmer to touch the wall, we won. And I hurt. I had dragged a dead weight behind me, swimming hard with only the left side of my body. My right side was burning. I tried to get out of the pool, but couldn't use my right arm.

I hurt, but I figured I'd take some pills when I got home, and feel better in the morning.

Morning came, and I still hurt. Thinking I had just pulled a muscle, I took a muscle relaxer and a pain pill and went to school.

When I got there, I met up with my friends at our lockers. That's when I realized that something was very wrong with me. My vision was blurry, and I was seeing double. I tried to talk to my boyfriend, but I was talking to the wrong one. He was on the right, and I was talking to the one on the left.... then I collapsed.

I woke up in the office of the school nurse in extreme pain. She had looked through my backpack and found the pills. She started asking how many I'd taken, and when. I asked her to please, PLEASE, just give me another pill. She refused.

After a flurry of phone calls, it was finally decided that my cousin would pick me up, since both my parents were unable to leave work. He took me to my grandma's house, where I lay on the couch and tried to not cry.

The next day, I went to the doctor. I had dislocated 5 vertebrae. I had torn the tendons on the right side of my neck, all the way down to my right hand. I had pulled my hip out of rotation, pinched a nerve in my back, and had torn a few muscles in the middle of my back.

I started physical therapy the next day.

I wore a sling for two months. At school, I got out of work, because I couldn't write. I couldn't even hold a pencil. I went to cosmetology school, just to clock hours and watch everyone else work.

Every week, I would get my back realigned. I had strict limitations, and I had to have my sisters help me do my hair, and apply my make-up.

I was in physical therapy my entire senior year.

I've had back problems ever since.

Which brings me to yesterday.

I was getting my kids ready to shower. The big ones can undress themselves, but Taylor, she needs some help. I scooped her up to unbutton her onsie, and something broke. I can't turn my body to the right, and I can feel my nerve being pinched beneath my shoulder blade.

I went to Urgent Care, and now I have muscle relaxers and pain killers, and a packet full of exercises I'm to do every day, twice. And they want me to follow up with my regular doctor (of which I do not have here) and suggested seeing a chiropractor.

Moral of the Story:

the stupidest things hurt the most.