February 1, 2009

Property Management Sucks: Part 1

the following conversations were all held, via phone, on opposite sides of the country.


Wednesday (Christmas EVE) -

"Hi, umm, this is Joe Schmoe. The water heater is broken"

"Okay, broken, how?"

"It just keeps resetting itself"

"Okay, I'll send someone out"

later Wednesday
"Okay. the plumber should be there in the next 2 hours."



even later Wednesday

"Hi. This is the plumber. I can't fix the water heater because I can't get the part I need 'til Friday."

"For SURE Friday"

"Yep. I can guarantee it will be working Friday morning"


again, on the Wednesday
"Yes. I need to book a room for my friend"

"... wuh?"

"FOR. MY. FRIEND. He will be staying at your hotel tonight and tomorrow. And I'm going to pay for it, but it will be him staying"

"Oh. got it. can I get your credit card number"

"Yep. 1978654879845648746512167456378963. He doesn't have to pay. He's my tenant. I'm putting him up. Got it? Charge ME."

"Yes ma'am. We have your card on file. Shouldn't be a problem"

Wednesday night
"Okay, we got you into this nice hotel. Have fun, sorry this happened Christmas Eve."


Friday (day after Christmas)
"Hi, this is the idiot with the craptastic plumbing company."

"So, did you get the part?"

"Um, no. They actually won't be open until Monday because of Christmas."

"I know that. That's why I asked if you could even do anything today on Wednesday."

"Oh. Sorry about that. I thought they would be open"


"Hi Joe Schmoe. Sorry about the water heater. Wanna go back to the hotel"

"No, it was expensive."

"......What do you mean......."

"They charged me $lots$ of money for the last 2 nights"

"I already paid for it, why would you pay it!"

"That's what I thought, but the guy was an idiot"

"Ugh. Fine. I'll take care of it"

Friday (to the hotel)
"Can I speak to the hotel manager?"

"Well, I can help you."

"No. You can't. I want to talk to a manager."

"What's the problem?"

"How old are you? I want to talk to a manager. Not you. Got it? MAN. A. GER."

.......hushed whispering probably talking all sorts of trash about crazy lady on phone.....


"Yeah. Are you the manager?"

"Yes. How can I help you?"

"I'm staring at a confirmation fax with my credit card number on it."

"Uh huh?"

"And you charged me."

"uh huh?"

"AND you charged my friend too. So we payed for the same room. Twice."

"Oh. So.."

"AND, I only had to pay $99 a night. But you charged HIM $200 a night. FOR THE SAME ROOM. Do you see my problem?"

"Let me get the manager..."

are you fricking kidding me?


It was a bumbling of epic proportions. And a FULL WEEK LATER, the water heater was finally fixed. (Three year warranty, holla!) Hotel charges have been sorted out, and my tenant is back in the house and able to shower comfortably again.

P.S. I hate being a landlord.

P.P.S. At least I'm not lame and I put up my tenants in a hotel, even though the hotel people were lame.

P.P.P.S. The point is, MY landlord wouldn't put ME up in a hotel, Christmas Eve or not.

P.P.P.P.S. jerks.