January 31, 2009

Update Numero Something

Since I've been doing a STATUS UPDATE every Saturday for the last, umm, 3? I'll just continue with that. Even though we all know that three times is not enough to make anything official, but it totally gives me something to think about in a non-thinking way.


This week was two steps forward, one step back.

I was feeling pretty good and then my children jumped on me. I'd name names but I don't want to. I'm also hoping that sometime in the next 10 years, I can get over it and will come to a point that I just won't remember who did and did not jump upon me. ONLY TIME WILL TELL.

And thus, as a child's heel dug into the exact location of my incision, some stitches were popped. And then? It got infected. I don't know for a fact that these two things are related but I'M GOING TO GO AHEAD AND ASSUME.

By the way, did you know that a recently popped open belly incision has the ability to produce the most abominable odor known to man? And that I was walking around all "WHAT is that SMELL?" Only to discover that it was myself?

Do you know that walking around with a nasty belly stink also has the ability to steal self esteem points? Because it totally does.

Because even on my crappiest days, HEY! AT LEAST I DON'T STINK. Bah.

Know what else takes away precious self esteem points? Broken hair dryers and husbands that refuse to go buy you one even though one fully intends to go to church this week but if she has to do it with frizzy hair she'll refuse. AND she won't shower that day. JUST TO SHOW YOU. Humph.

In other news, my stitches are mostly dissolved except for you know, that busted open side.

Which, I mean to say, they're dissolved but you can't get sewn back up because hello, even stinkier infection. So mostly I just hold my belly a lot and try not to cough or laugh or attract any attention to myself so that my kids and their crazy jumpy selves will just stay away.

Also? I really like a good run on sentence. If only my English teacher could see me now....

The end.