April 20, 2009

Miss Manners

Our good friends were in town this past week. It was tons of fun having them here, and we got to go swimming at their hotel, and we even saw some show choirs (who have NOTHING on Zac Efron.... and yes, I was comparing every single boy on stage to Zac. You would too.)

After the show wrapped up, the kids were starving. DadGuy insisted that we go to Five Guys because they make a really good burger and since they don't have them in Arizona, we just HAD to eat there so our friends could have the Five Guys experience.

Now, if you've ever been inside a burger joint, you have the basic set up of Five Guys. You walk straight up to a counter, there's too many tables crammed into too small of a place, and it's packed.

But we picked a good time because we found three tables !TOGETHER! and herded all the shortlings over.

We sat them down, asked them what they wanted on their burgers, and sent DadGuy up to the counter. DadGuy ordered everyone's food, and then asked me to come up and tell them what I wanted.

No problem. I was literally less than four feet away from my kids. So I went up to the counter and told her my order. Mushrooms, Onions, Lettuce, Tomato, Mustard, light Ketchup. I turned back around and Taylor was sitting on the floor, staring at the lady next to us.

I went over to Taylor, picked her up, and set her in her chair. Then I went back to the counter to grab napkins.

When I went back to sit down, the lady next to us says:

"You know, you're really rude."

I turned my head. I'm sure my face was a mixture of confusion/horror. I asked, "Who? Me?"

"Yeah, you're really rude. I was trying to help because your baby fell and she could have got really hurt. I wasn't doing anything wrong, I wasn't trying to hurt her. I was helping her and you didn't even say thank you to me and I was raised with manners. I could have just let her fall....."

On and on and on it went. With finger wagging and eyebrow raising and everything.

Now, I consider myself a polite individual. Even when I don't like someone, I can be cordial. But honest to goodness, I had no idea what she was talking about.

There was no CRASH. There were no TEARS. No chair legs scraping the floors, nothing to hint that anyone had fallen. I saw my almost two year old, 4th monkey child, kamikaze girl, calmly sitting on the floor staring at a lady with big shiny earrings.

I don't even know that she fell.

The lady then proceeded to tell the table behind us all about HOW RUDE I WAS and can you believe that I didn't apologize and how she would NEVER because she was RAISED WITH MANNERS and if she had only known that, she wouldn't have tried to help.

I was livid. I am STILL livid.

First off, I wasn't aware of anything happening. My children, ALL of them, are more than capable of getting in and out of a chair on their own.

Secondly, when a child DOES fall, there is usually some inclination that they fell. In fact, I'd say that 99% of the time, there is physical evidence of a fall.

Thirdly, a person who was "raised with manners" wouldn't demand an apology NOR would she suggest that she wouldn't have helped a child in need if she didn't know she wasn't going to GET an apology.

Fourthly, you can be damn certain that pointing out other people's bad manners is not, in fact, a testament to your "good manners"

I mean, if ANYTHING, I'm the one with good manners in this situation. And no, I am NOT going to appease you and offer an apology for something that probably didn't happen. Especially not after you've gone on a tirade against me and my kids and have started snarking to everyone within earshot.

In fact, I would say that you should be glad that I didn't say anything. Because I was *thisclose* to getting into it with you, a random stranger, in front of my children. BUT I DIDN'T. Because I was raised to believe that:

"A test of good manners is being able to tolerate bad ones."

So when it comes down to it, crazy lady at the burger joint, I'm the one with good manners. Not you.... most definitely, NOT. YOU.


  1. That is weird... If she helped Taylor, WHY was she still on the floor??????

    5 guys is awesome. I went there as a missionary (once) but they opened one in SLC, because there is no In and Out! I have been to that one a few times. I LOVE the spicy fries.

  2. I totally would've decked her. I'm glad you have a little more self-control than me.

  3. You are not the one with the problem--SHE is. It makes me think of the saying "methinks she doth protest too much". Maybe she DID do something she should't have and was trying to cover it up or was just afraid you were going to accuse her so started in accusing you before you had a chance. Anyway, like my wise father always says when I am bugged by someone "The way she is is more of a problem for her than it is for you." Just think--she has to live with herself. She's probably pretty miserable most of the time. Feel better--hugs!

  4. this entire scenario makes NO sense... I wonder why she would lie? It's a little creepy...

  5. Amen Sista!!

    So, Love the new MMB, it is the Best!! You Rock!! ♥

  6. Whoa - that lady was something else. Bravo to you for keeping your cool and finally:

    ROCK ON! AMEN SISTAH - love the post!

  7. I wouldn't be steamed about the manners accusation--I'd be more upset about the interaction she had with Taylor. I agree that there was something weird going on here. "I didn't do anything wrong?" "I wasn't trying to hurt her?" Weird. I'd like to see the 5 Guys security camera footage.

    I think you were right to keep your kids close and ignore her rant. She was definitely trying to incite you, and there was no need to play into that. You never can tell how people will act when provoked.

    That said--We LOVE 5 Guys! If you need help forgetting that terrible experience, give us a call for a 5 Guys run! We always have fun at 5 Guys!

  8. Did any of your older kids see what happened? Can they provide any info?

  9. I think it is a Northern Virginia thing. I have never met such "polite" people in all of my life. Several times now I have had people coming up to tell how to raise my children. Yesterday a man told me to give my son an "a$%whoopin" However, if I discipline my children without fail a nosey lady will come over and tell me I am too harsh!

  10. What a total weirdo. I wonder if she sat Taylor on the ground without Taylor falling down at all. That would be a weird thing for her to do but we have already established that she is weird.

    So, weird...the whole thing.

  11. I was just reading a post somewhere else about an older woman who got her panties all in a wad because a small child had the audacity to fuss a little. Huh??
    I think it must be menopause that causes these women to become so ugly??

  12. Heck, lady, I'm Canadian, famed for politeness, and I totally would've told her off right back! You're amazing!

  13. I would have gone off on her!! You are amazing!!!

  14. And I thought we only got that kind of "do-gooder" in New York. I commend you for not calling her a mofo as she clearly deserved. I just hope she didn't ruin your Five Guys grease buzz.

  15. OH!! I am livid for you!! My chest is actually tight and I want to yell at someone now! You did the right thing, though, so good for you. She wanted you to respond and contend with her, and you didn't. You took the wind right out of her sail, and let everyone know who really had the manners.

  16. True story...I was there. There was no crying and I was about 1.5 feet away from baby girl. I guess I'm rude because I was too busy to say thank you too because I was feeding my baby. Whatever lady! Just think what she would've said had she seen what happened when baby girl bit through her tongue and gushed blood everywhere the day before?! Now that's getting hurt. If the Bingham kids aren't bleeding, they're ok:)

    Thanks for all the fun and all the meals you served us and hanging out with us last week. You have such good manners:)

  17. I would have accidentally thrown pickles at her. Via a kid's hand.

  18. As I was reading this I kept thinking "The true show of good manners is ignoring the bad manners of others." And then you said it at the end. I'm sorry, but I'm totally laughing because that lady definately did NOT have good manners. You, on the other hand, You are Amazing! Good job keeping your cool.