We have had an interesting day at our house.
And by interesting, I mean terrible.
It all started last night, when a certain short person in the house snuck out of bed. When we finally noticed her hiding behind the couch, it was a full two hours PAST bedtime.
Then at about 1am, when we were all in our correct night time places, a different short someone came crawling into my bed because he was cold. And I thought to myself, “Of course you are cold. You took off all of your pajama’s when I was tucking you in because you were hot.”
But I was too tired to really care, so I let him snuggle by me, until I decided that his head was too heavy and I didn’t like how my pinned arm was starting to go numb.
So I made a “nest” at the end of our bed, and kicked him into it.
Then at about 5 this morning, the other boy in the house woke up ready for the day.
Naturally, he needed someone to play with so he woke up EVERYONE. By turning on the lights, and pulling back the covers. And turning on the radio.
And then nobody could go back to sleep.
By 8am, we were all breakfasted, laundered, showered, and every thing else that was on the “list” for the day.
Let’s just say that everything after 8am was downhill.
And at 5 o’clock, I had HAD it.
So I made everyone get ready for bed. Showers, pajama’s, teeth brushed, the whole deal.
Then they started whining about how hungry they were.
And my initial reaction was to let them be hungry, so they could see what it feels like, because, as my children told me, I’m a horrible mommy and they no like me.
(Motherhood is so rewarding.)
But instead, I decided that I would let them eat, when their rooms were spotless and they had apologized to me.
Of course, apologizing is a learned art, because a blanket, “I’m sorry” just doesn’t cut it.
Which means that yes, I make them practice apologizing.
It goes like this:
"YOU OWE ME AN APOLOGY."
"sorry mom."
"SORRY MOM WHAT."
"sorry that i acted like a wild monkey."
"NO. THAT DOES NOT COUNT. YOU NEED TO APOLOGIZE FOR YOU ACTIONS."
"sorry for.... uh.... yelling?"
"AND?"
"and for hitting people..."
"AND WHAT ELSE"
"And, umm.... for, uh... for having a fit about video games.... BUT THEY WOULDN'T LET ME HAVE A TURN! IT WASN'T FAIR! THEY KEPT TAKING THE CONTROLLER AND PUSHING BUTTONS! SO I HAD TO HIT THEM OR ELSE THEY WOULDN'T STOP."
"STOP YELLING. I DON'T CARE ABOUT STUPID VIDEO GAMES. GO BACK TO YOUR ROOM UNTIL YOU CAN APOLOGIZE TO ME FOR REALS."
"But!"
"I SAID GO!"
Rinse, repeat, four times over.
And THEN at dinner, I didn’t let them talk unless their father or I had spoken directly to them.
And I made them use forks.
And chew with their mouths closed.
And I made them eat spinach.
And then I thought to myself, people wonder why moms just want a nap.
IT’S BECAUSE LIFE IS EXHAUSTING.
