May 17, 2011

Pieces of Me

Sometimes when I see people’s furniture makeovers, I gag. The line between distressed and completely ruined is a fine one that many, many people cross.

Answer me this: if the girls that I visit teach read my blog, and vice versa, does that count? It’s always awkward in person, because I’m all “Hey! How are you?” and I ALREADY KNOW THE ANSWER. I just have to pretend in case my partner doesn’t read blogs and/or facebook. (no really, there are people that don’t read blogs. and it’s okay if I talk about them… because they don’t read blogs.)

On the flip side, what about all the people at church that read your blog, but don’t generally speak to you, but that will reference something that happened or something you shared? It used to make me nervous because what if they used it against me? Then I remembered that the blog me and the real me and pretty much the same thing. But you have to admit, that is is slightly disconcerting to realize that the whole ward knows YOU and you don’t know THEM.

I just referenced LDS culture and half of my readers are asking themselves, “WUH?” 

My brother said he get’s annoyed when jerky people call themselves assertive or confident or strong or funny. I think my brother thinks I’m annoying. (Also: I AM funny.)

I always read my emails at least twice before I send them. First, I read the way it should sound, then I read it in what I refer to as the jerk off setting, which is to say, do I sound like a douchebag in this email? And if the answer is yes, sometimes I send it anyways. (see above)

Whenever someone tells me that they couldn’t believe what I just said, my internal response is, and always will remain, “You should hear what I’m NOT saying.” Also: Can you picture my face? It looks like this:



I am getting a new sewing machine this week. Or early next week. Whenever it gets here.

I like rain, which is good, because it’s raining here RIGHT NOW. This piece of information serves of no importance whatsoever other than now you know.

THE END is the absolute best way to end blog posts.

The end.