May 17, 2010

Things That Annoy Me: Cripple Edition

1. Stairs

One bad ankle, not a problem. Two bad ankles? MAJOR ISSUES. There is no good way to go up or down the stairs... believe, I've tried.

2. Laundry

There is entirely too much bending in the laundry process. Plus, our bedrooms are upstairs, and the washer is downstairs. (see no. 1) Therefore, DadGuy is in charge of laundering until further notice.

3. Standing

Yep, just standing. 

4. Anything that involves standing

Including, but not limited to, administering baths, making dinner, vacuuming, walking, parenting, and pretty much anything else that cannot be done while sitting on the couch with my feet up.

5. Bathing

The first day, I tried to leave my wraps and bandages on and somehow clean my body without getting my feet wet. It didn't go over well on account of me not being a contortionist. So now I unwrap my feet, sit on the edge of the bathtub, and clean myself the best I can. Why don't I just take a regular bath, you ask? Because I want to be clean and sitting in a pool of dirt doesn't really transcend that whole cleanliness thing now does it?

And now I feel like I should mention that I'm not actually making fun of cripples or saying that these things would be annoying for them, I'm just saying that as a pseudo-cripple, these things are awkward and require adjustments, but because it's a temporary thing, I'm not looking into ways to fix them, because what's the point? Unless I manage to break my knees next, which definitely could be accomplished, but then it would be like I was doing it on purpose, and heaven knows WE WOULDN'T WANT THAT.

Can you believe that the paragraph directly about is actually only two sentences long? I'm pretty sure English teachers everywhere are clawing their eyeballs out, which reminds me, did you see Demi Lovato on Grey's last week and she totally was trying to claw her eyeballs out? And I don't know about you, but the plot on Grey's gets more and more stupid but I watch it anyways...

I totally did it again. End Scene.