February 24, 2010

I Lost My Baby

I lost Taylor.

I just, misplaced her for a few moments, and then she was gone.

It started out innocently enough.

I had some beans on the stove, simmering away.

I was doing laundry.

And putting away the shoes.

And then I smelt it.

Burnt. Beans.

I raced up the stairs to find that my once simmering beans had begun to scald.

I rinsed them under cold water.

Then I rinsed them again.

And again.

Since the faucet was running,


Who was not lost...


Pushed a chair over and began helping me.

White beans in a new pot.

Black beans down the disposal.

She got bored and wandered away.

I kept sorting.

After I finished sorting the beans,

I put them back on the stove to simmer.

(This time, with PLENTY of water.)

Then I went back downstairs to finish that blasted laundry.

That's when I noticed that the back door was open.

I didn't think anything of it.

Because there is snow on the ground.

And if I know anything about my kids,

It is this:

They hate being cold.

So I shut the door.

And locked it.

And went about my business.

A little while later, as I passed the clock in the hall,

I realized that it was time to go to the bus stop.

So I yelled up the stairs.

"Blayne! Danny! Taylor! Let's Go!"

The thundering of feet,

Racing down the stairs,

Told me that they were coming.

THEY were only TWO.

"Where's Taylor?"

I asked them.

Shoulders shrugged.

"Wasn't she with you?"

Eyes rolled.

I forgot.

THEY don't play with BABIES.

Up the stairs I went,

Calling her name.

"Taylor! Taylor! Let's go!"

She was not in the kitchen.

Or playing with the toys.

Up more stairs I went.

She was not in her bedroom.

Or the closet.

Or my bedroom.

Or my closet.

She was not in the bathroom.

Or the linen closet.

Or under the beds.

Or hiding in the cupboards.

I panicked as I remembered.

The door.

The wide open door.

That I shut and locked.

At LEAST thirty minutes ago.

I raced through the house opening cupboards,

And looking behind curtains.

She was not there.

I told Blayne and Danny to sit on the stairs.

They were not to move.

I went outside.

And looked in the front.

And then in the back.

I called out her name.

Over and over, "TAYLOR!" I cried.

I went to the neighbors,

And pounded on the door.

"I can't find Taylor. Is she here?"

I asked.

The neighbors started looking.

I thought maybe I should check my house,

One last time.

Truth be told,

I was scared.

My neighbor told me,

She would meet my boy at the bus.

The other neighbor,

Began peeking onto people's decks.

I ran back to my house,

To check on Blayne and Danny.

I told them,

"Go upstairs. Look in all your hiding places,

See if you can see Taylor."

I went back outside.

I tried to think,

If I was a two year old princess, where would I go?

Then from inside the house I heard

"Mo-om, I found Taylor!"

I turned on my heel and again raced inside.

"Where? What do you mean? Can you SEE her? Where is she?"

I thought, good. I'll check out the window,

See where she is,

Then go grab her,

Before somebody else does.

So I climbed up the stairs,

"Show me." I said as I moved towards the window.

"No Mom. She's here. Right here."

I looked to where she was pointing,

Sure enough,

There she was.