May 11, 2009


My Mother's Day was as good as could be expected. You know, with having to be at church at 9 am and all.

It started with with me sleeping in until 7:00, at which point DadGuy dragged me into the shower and told me it was my turn.

After my shower, that WAS by myself for once, I got myself ready for church in the usual manner:

I blow dried my hair, searched for missing shoes, plugged in the flat iron, located the boy's ties, turned ON the flat iron, grabbed Taylor so I could get her hair out of her face, put on my foundation, put hot rollers in Blayne's hair, put on mascara and eyeliner, listened to people cry, put Taylor's shoes back on her feet, finally flat iron my hair, tuck the boy's shirts back in, put my bra on, pack the diaper bag, try and find MY shoes that people "borrow" for dress up, locate the puppy and the silky and the pacifiers, give up and wear the shoes I CAN find, tell people to get in the car, go to the bathroom, grab the diaper bag and know that there's something I'm forgetting but for the love of all that is holy I can't think straight and we're late.

The service at church was especially entertaining. At least it was as far as I was concerned. I think there were three speakers. Not that I know for sure, because I was in and out with screaming, kicking, crazy shortlings the whole time.

Then, when I thought it was over and that I could send people to class, THEN they asked the mother's to please stand up so that they could give us roses. Which was a nice sentiment. It was also nice that they gave us each two so that my boys could steal the roses and swordfight each other instead.

Then I got to go to my OWN class with no short people but upon entering the room, I discovered that it was HOT and STUFFY. And I was already HOT and STUFFY and STICKY from my adventures the previous hour. So I opted to NOT attend that particular class and instead sat under an air conditioned vent in the hall and may have fallen asleep.

When I woke up I had to go to the bathroom again, because, well, I take every available opportunity to use the bathroom by myself. It's a sad realization that my life is excited by something as stupid as going to the bathroom ALONE.

Then there was Relief Society. That was good. They had treats in the back and the air conditioner was on. I'm sure the lesson was good too, except that I was busy trying to not fall asleep so I wasn't paying very much attention. Then, in the quiet room of adults, I heard a noise. It was very loud and most definitely belonging to one of my children.

I jumped out of my seat, and jogged down the hall to see my oldest child giving a talk into the microphone. Very into the microphone. I'm sure he thought it tasted good. I gave him a thumbs up and then snuck back into Relief Society just in time to play the piano.

When church was finally finished, we came home where I refused to make lunch, citing "Mother's Day!" as my excuse, changed into my pajama's, and curled up on the couch with my trashy magazine.

Then we put on a movie for the kids, which prompted Daniel and Taylor and DadGuy to slumber. Thankfully, Thaddeus and Blayne are old enough to occupy themselves these days so he went outside while she "computered" for the afternoon.

DadGuy made dinner, because, after all, it is Mother's Day. And then he did the dishes, and we all watched the Amazing Race, and then we went to bed.

How was your Mother's day?