November 16, 2008

Sunday Recap

So, I did great today.

The others? Not so much.

And anyone that decided to go to church this morning will tell you that at the very least, today's meeting was entertaining.

You see, my kids? They LOVE me. In a cannotstandtonotbetouching/crawlingalloveryou kind of way. It's lovely. Really.

We got to church early, you know, because it's sorta awkward if you're the speaker and you're late. And I tried to go sit on the stand where the speakers usually sit.

Then four more people decided to come sit on the stand too.

So I decided to sit in the congregation until it was time to start and then, my plan was to sneak back up there.

It worked for all of 30 seconds.

Thaddeus came and sat by me. I whispered that he was fine, but that people on the stand sit still and they don't talk. He said "Okay Mom!" and proceeded to UNBUTTON HIS SHIRT. Then I told him that people on the stand wear their church clothes the whole time they're in church. He didn't believe me. So I pointed to the other men on the stand and showed him that their shirts WERE buttoned. {insert heavy sighing from 4 year old}

3 minutes later....

Blayne noticed that Tad was missing. Then she noticed that I was missing. Then she noticed that we were missing together on the stand. Then she began to cry and plead. "Mommy! Mom! MMMOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMYYYYYYY!"

Which made Taylor notice that Mommy was missing. Which led to more crying.

Daniel, of course, was extremely well behaved today and just stared at all the crybabies.

DadGuy took the girls out to the foyer, where the girls managed to become LOUDER.

Thankfully, the congregation was still singing the opening hymn so I tried to sneak off the stage to grab a girl real quick.

After a debate about DadGuy taking everyone home (his idea) and me just taking Blayne on the stand (my idea) I noticed that the singing had stopped.

So I grabbed Blayne and we both *gracefully* went back up to the stand to sit together with Tad.... Everyone calmed down, and was fine.

Except that it was my turn to talk. I've provided a diagram of the next series of events.

Also? At one point, Blayne came next to me to spit a candy into my hand.


I grabbed a tissue out of the box that sits near the mike, and proceeded to wipe off her face and hands SPEAKING ALL THE WHILE.

I also recall that all FOUR of my children were crawling around the stage at some point and that DadGuy was trying to grab someone out from under a chair while stopping someone else from, I don't know, probably trying to swing from the chandeliers.

Seriously. It was great.

And next week? It's DadGuy's turn to speak. Muah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

(Kidding. I can control them all at once. Him, well, he needs more practice.... Which is why I should go to BlogHer honey! Then you can practice with them all by yourself! Think of all the patience you'll gain! Why, by the time I get back you'll be kicking me out the door, you'll be such a pro!)

P.S. Grandma's should go here. And aunts. And I guess even you if you want to see my kids faces.