September 29, 2008


don't forget, I like to Give Things Away

How did you find me? No seriously, I want to know. Did I force you to come here and read me? Did you stumble here on your own? Or did you come by way of google? Because the google things? Crack. Me. Up.

And while some of them I can see, others, I'm like, really? You put that information into the search box and ended up here? HOW? How in the love is that related to anything I ever said?

So, a few of my more recent googling's:

a voice message i can leave on my husband's cell phone greeting - I hate leaving messages. And if it's your husband's phone, make him leave it. I mean, can you imagine hearing a woman saying "Hi, this is Bob's phone. Leave a message pretty please! bubblegum and roses!!!" how unmanly can you be?

carbonation makes me throw up - dude, that sucks. I vote you stop drinking carbonated things. Also? I would die. Long live fountain drinks!

bingham hurts children to teach war - I don't hurt children, and I don't teach war. And what the random combination?

spandex cameltoe - oh yeah, I remember that one. {{shudders}}

sugar detox - tried it. per doctor's orders. I still consume Dr. Pepper. therefore, meh.

Bobby Krech - I totally grew up with him. He's awesome. And I had a crush on him from about 4th grade til, umm, current. In my head he'll always be awesome skater boy that looks like Leonardo DeCaprio circa Romeo and Juliet, except taller and cuter.

quadruple stroller - once. I mentioned this one time and I got LAUGHED AT.

defining moments in parenthood - do I have those?

toe cleavage - well this one got me in trouble. SOME people have very strong feelings about their FOOT FETISHES and apparently I stepped on a few toes. pun intended. for the record, I still don't like it. {{ewww}}

stake center - mine burnt down. arson baby.

exactly what was the baby boom and when did it occurr? - personally? 2003-2007

coke zero thyroid - I hate coke. and if Coke Zero is anything like Diet Dr. Pepper, it probably tastes like foot anyways and I vote you put the can down and WALK. AWAY. and how odd, I too have a thyroid. small world!

final first kiss - yeah, I had one. It was GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDD.

fat mommy diaries - {{sobs}}

grandpa ken molester - I don't have a grandpa Ken. And I'm not a molester. And how on earth does my blog pull up in that search?

funny friendly reminder - it actually was more of a "so sad but true" reminder.

I was so mean to my mom - you jerk. I was always an angel. My mom loves me. I'm so the favorite.

Hilde tiffany's room - Hilde is a jackass. TLC is almost as big a jackass for hiring her in the first place. Seriously. Hilde sucks. BIGTIME.

my 5 year old told me "I don't like you" - Welcome to the club.

pictures of boys wearing eye patches - my boys never wore an eyepatch. I did. Arrgh. And also? Ahoy, ye maties!

mombabe - Hi. How are ya?

sayings faster than a jackrabbit - what in the? Is that really a saying? Did I actually say that? No way. I never would have.

why deep wound is gaping and smelling? - ummm, if it's gaping and it smells, please see a doctor. Please get off your computer, stop googling it, and for the love, take an antibiotic. And are you smelling it on purpose? Or does it smell that bad? You know what, it doesn't matter. Doctor. Now. thank you.

what are the coolest funniest baby onesies sayings - like duh, Cereal Killer? Classic. Rebel Ink is where it's at.

So, how did YOU find me?