August 24, 2010

Boundaries

I”m just curious how many of you belong to a moms group?

And what exactly is it that you DO in your moms group?

See, I was invited to join one, and I’m thinking, it is SO not my thing.

Like, AT ALL.

And I’m pretty sure I offended the girl that offered because, everybody is supposed to like the same things all the time.

And yes, I agree, that in theory, this idea would be swell.

It’s just that I’m really not interested in comparing my kids to yours.

Or my marriage to yours.

Or pretty much anything.

Because if there’s one thing I’ve learned in the last 10 years,

it’s that some people are always in a competition for everything.

Because they have to be better than someone at something.

I mean, what’s wrong with being average anyways?

Not everybody in the whole wide world is “special” and “great” and all that jazz.

My kids? Are normal kids.

AND THAT MAKES THEM AWESOME.

My husband? Is your regular, ordinary guy.

WHICH MAKES HIM AWESOME.

My house? Average.

Myself? Pretty stinking average.

And there’s nothing wrong with that.

I’m not better than you.

And over the years, when I have ventured to these little groups,

that are supposed to foster friendship, and love, and all that crap,

All I’ve ever really found,

was petty drama and competition.

Here’s the thing.

I either like you,

Or I don’t.

You’ll never know if I do or don’t,

because I don’t believe that it matters.

I’ll still be nice to you.

You’ll probably even think we’re friends.

But I’m not going to put myself in situations where I have to be with you.

Because if I have anything,

It’s boundaries.

P.S. I’m trying out a new blog look. What do you think? Click over and tell me!

23 comments:

  1. Funny. I have to say your blog is a bit Fancy! I like the change. But you have to do a Fall theme(Halloween) soon.

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  2. It's so pretty!!!!

    and I'm not part of a mom's group because I'm not a mom.

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  3. Ha ha ha. Oh Caroline. We get invited and told to go because of Curtis. And I don't know how it works with normal kids but with DS babies every one is always depressed and talks about their kids' health problems. It is just super awkward.

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  4. First: Love the new look!

    Second: I don't do Mom's groups for that very reason.

    I'm totally awesomely AVERAGE and so are my kids and Jefe. Which makes us boring to those competitive types.

    I hate drama more than I hate banana's. And, THAT'S saying something!

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  5. Love the new look.

    No, I'm not in a moms' group, because I'm not interested.

    And now I'm scared that you might not like me. :-)

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  6. Pffht. I totally like you Jen.

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  7. Lovely new look.

    I think you are right about the mom groups. Feels kinda like jr high. I don't have the time or energy to do jr high again!

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  8. I think we are the same person. ha, ha:)

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  9. I'm thinking the skull and cross bones is more you.

    And seriously, great post.

    And I kinda thought that this little bloggy community WAS a "mom group" of sorts.

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  10. it's a work in progress Heather. ;)

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  11. So Jen said exactly what I was going to put. :)

    Seriously though, love the new blog look. I need to change mine up and may need some help...

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  12. I need me some of them things. Boundaries, that is. Sigh.

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  13. I belonged to a couple of moms groups...both lasted a few months and then fizzled because everyone was too tired.

    They were supposed to be mom support groups, with lessons and sharing and stuff. When we did actually meet, we all sat there sort of glazed-eyed because we all had swarms of little kids. Too tired for drama.

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  14. Very pretty new layout.

    As for moms groups, I've avoided these for many of the same reasons as you stated. I have enough time just keeping my sanity, I don't need to hear about anyone elses.

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  15. caroline,

    i am starting a new group. it's for moms and its going to be so great. will you come? because i need a few moms who are totally committed, and then i think it will grow really fast. and i want it to be big so that we can do lots of fun things and people will know about me. being the founder. and we can also go do big field trips to places... which is way more fun that going to places with just ur kids. except its not. other peoples kids are so annoying. and so is the way that other mom's parent their kids.

    i feel like i need a moms group so that i can have friends. automatically. i have a hard time making friends on my own. in natural circumstances.

    no. that's not true.

    sometimes i think of myself as a walking moms group.

    i should blog more so that i don't leave such long comments on other people's blogs.

    angie

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  16. I was a part of a Mom's group, and I was really awkward and out of place. My husband said to me one day he didn't like who I had become. The once laid back woman that could care less what others thought had become a Longaberger basket buying, dinner party throwing, gossiping queen.

    Not that all mom groups do that to people, but it was not a great experience for me. there was competition ALL around. And I laugh when I look back and think of who I was. Oh my!

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  17. Mom groups are lame. probably because I am not a fan of groups of girls. I never have been. whatever.

    I don't like the new look. It's not very you. that is all.

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  18. Me likey your new look girlie!!! And as for this post...I couldn't agree more with you. I am NOT at all interested in EVER joining a mommy playgroup. No way, no how! Why? So everyone can talk about me and put my kids down for "being a kid". No thanks!

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  19. It's looking pretty nice around here...every blog needs a little bling.
    And I have never done the Mom-group thing unless you count Relief Society, then yeah, like the biggest Mom's Group in the world!
    I like normal. In fact, I'd like to be normal when I grow up some day, and have normal yahoos too.
    Honestly, it's not looking good for me.
    But you go right ahead...be as normal as you can. I'm taking notes.

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  20. Oh - I like the new look!

    And gee wiz - I hope that you really do like me, cause it's kinda important to me. And you - average - I don't think so!

    I never stuck with any of those mom groups either. I got sick of all the whining and moaning about how HARD their life was with 2 or 3 kids - how they had to do laundry at least 2 days a week, and soccer, and dance recitals, and karate classes, and baby massage, and yada, yada, yada. When my turn came around, and they found out how many kids I had...their jaws would drop...and inevitably some snootie patootie would make some snotty comment about doubting how I could ever give enough love and attention to all my dear little ones. The little pansy a****!

    Ooops - can't believe I just said that. Sorry, just ignore me. And all you mom group folk - I'm just having a bad day!

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  21. I've never even heard of those groups. But there does seem to be an over abundance of sharing in some RS meetings or during visiting teaching visits. I really don't need to know that much about some women's husbands.

    But it is true that everyone is supposed to like the same things. People just assume you are just like them and like the same things they like and care about the things they care about.

    It can be real unsettling to people when they discover you are actually your own person.

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  22. You sound like a kindred spirit. You stayed away because of the vibe you got. I stay away because of the competition too. There is so much of it and it is so predictable. Still trying to figure its existence out, like how to stay off the "covet radar" meanwhile, I love doing things with my kids, with my husband and reading these blogs...it's good enough.

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  23. I rarely feel that at our mom's group. Mostly we're just trying to bouy each other to survive the little monsters.
    I really like it, but it can get a little bit 'that way' but then I just mention how crazy my kids are and everyone realizes theirs are too. :)

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