May 8, 2009

Someday, I will I be able to go to the bathroom without incident


THAT is what I heard this morning. This morning, when I hadn't yet showered, or combed my hair, or even used the bathroom.

Well, I was working on using the bathroom.

Taylor was down for her morning nap, the other three were engrossed with the television (or so I thought) and I, in my naivety, had the gall to use the bathroom.

I went in, and shut the door.

At which point, three sets of little toes made their escape.

I heard them.

I heard them throw open the front door.

I heard shouts of "Rope Swing!" and "Yay!"

I tried to empty my bladder as fast as I could.

Not two minutes later, I hear an adult voice, calling to me.

I thought maybe it was my neighbor, calling to tell me he's backing out.

But no. That would be too perfect.

It was a police officer.

Because my children, bless their darling souls, saw a police car pull into our cul-de-sac.

And my children, bless their darling souls, ran out to the police car.

And then my children, bless their darling souls, began asking questions.

"What are you doing at my house?"

"Is there a bad guy back there?"

"Can I go on a ride?"

"Can you turn on the lights?"

"Do you have a gun?"

And the police officer, bless her darling soul, saw three unsupervised children, with the front door flung open, and came to investigate.


I called back. "Just a minute." And I flushed the toilet, washed my hands, and made my way towards the voice in my shouldhavebeentossed pajama pants and my washed3daysago hair do.

Our eyes met, the officer's and mine, and she burst out laughing.

"Went to the bathroom, huh?"

I sighed and said, "Yep."

"I just wanted to make sure someone was home. I saw them and the open door and just thought I should check it out," she explained. "Well, you have a good day." and she turned to leave, chuckling all the while.

"Is my mom in trouble?"

"Do you like to swing?"

"Can I have a ride?"

"Do you live at the jail?"

Three inquisitive children continued to pepper her with questions. I called them back, and had them wave good bye to the nice officer.

She got back into her cruiser, rolled down the window to wave good bye, and flashed her lights, just for us.

It was the highlight of our day.


  1. Too funny! Your kids are hilarious! So sorry a police officer was at your door when you were in your PJ's though. It sounded like she was a woman? I guess that was a relief. Having a male police officer show up would have been more embarrassing I think.

  2. Well, at least you know you have a good, thorough cop in the area!

  3. This made me remember the time I had the gal to take a shower and my 2 year old unlocked the dead bolt and followed the garbage truck for 1 whole block before a neighbor brought him back to me.
    thanks for the memory today.

  4. hahahaa, this just made my day! i'm waiting for jared to have a funny story like this one day, but so far, phoenix just seems to be filled with STD infected transients....not innocent moms trying to take a pee.

  5. That's hilarious!!! I'm totally linking to this post!

  6. Wow! That is funny! I am glad to say that's never happened to me! It helps that my man works from home.

  7. I really do love this story. I might even enjoy it had it happened to me!!


  8. Seriously, the best story I've heard all day. Gotta love the escape-loving tots. :)

  9. Oh yeah, and glad she was a woman 'cause clearly she understood!

  10. LOL... that is hilarious! You could not make that up... SO funny.

    PS. I am so glad you remembered to wash your hands. I would have forgotten.

  11. Wow, you really have to chain them down, don't you? (I'm thinking of their escape last year...)

  12. The perils peeing behind a closed door...

    Thank goodness our door has the stiffest deadbolt I have ever before witnessed. It's completely useless if you want to open it with the key, but it keeps the kids in so we keep it.

  13. That is absolutely hilarious!!! Thank you for giving me a great laugh right when I needed it! :-)

    It does seem like it's hard to even find the chance to go to the bathroom when you have small children. I can relate, but thankfully I can't quite relate THAT much. :-)

  14. Oh my, that is totally funny! Poor you, I'm impressed you stopped to wash your hands!

    This is something that happened once I left home:

    Once when my now 24 yo sis was 6 yo or so, she "couldn't find" my mom. So afraid, she called 911. Meanwhile my dad came home and talked to 911, turns out my mom was in the BATHTUB (her luxury of life, long hot soaks in the tub for an hour or so).

    So 911 made my mom get out of the tub and talk to them, to ensure she really was OK and that nothing wrong was going on!

    Kudos to 911 though, just in case!!

  15. Cool Cop! She must be a mom and know what can happen when you go to the bathroom.
    One time I went to the bathroom, by myself, and my 18 month old son decided to jump off of the kitchen table.
    We spent the rest of the afternoon at the pediatrician's office getting the gash in his ear glued back together.

    You're kids are really quick.

  16. Make that "your" kids are really quick.

    Sorry, having a TAMN moment.

  17. Holy cow! Thank goodness she was a mom herself.

  18. That's Hilarious! At least she was a nice police officer!

  19. I shouldn't laugh, but I can't help it. It was a good thing that the cop was understanding.

  20. I needed that chuckle today. It reminded me of our many visits with the police, with Ryan, with Katie, Jonathan, with Brayden. You would think at some point they would learn to stay home.

  21. I so, so, love that she understood.

    Although, what were you thinking...using the bathrooom? How wreckless.

  22. Thank heaven the woman had a sense of humour!

  23. I think my shutting the bathroom door sets off some signal in the kids' brains to immediately start doing crazy shit they aren't allowed to do. It is amazing how effectively and irreparably they can damage things in the 1 minute it takes me to pee.

  24. Those locked gates that everyone has on their front door in Az are the most blessed things I have ever come across. I LoVE THEM. . . for that VERY reason!

  25. Lmao! That's hilarious. It sounds like something that would happen to me, unfortunately, haha.

  26. Oh that is too funny! At least the police officer was nice about it!