January 15, 2009

It's Elementary

Heather is another blogger that I know in the flesh. She is insightful, and deep, and LOVELY. How many people can you describe as lovely? I only know one. You should definitely read her, she just might change your life... P.S. Heather? This most definitely happened in the 4th grade.

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Ha-hah! I’m so excited to guest post here! Because I think I’ve got a story that The MomBabe fans might enjoy. The MomBabe herself will probably get a kick out of the memory. Ha!

It dates back to the very early nineties. When I moved into a new neighborhood and found myself sitting next to a regular little Goldie Lockes at church. Her hair was moonlight blonde and in perfect ringlets. Her dress was frilly and fluffy. All this a stark contrast with myself, a total tom boy with tangled red hair and a dress I was forced to wear. This little angel faced Goldie Lockes girl appeared to be everything feminine and girlish.

That was until I she opened her mouth, in which case I’d be willing to bet good money that the first thing I heard her say was probably something along the lines of


“If you do that one more time, [insert name of annoying boy], I’ll break your nose!”


And so the little angelic fa├žade fell away and I knew that her mother must have done some kind of haggling to get her into that dress and those curls. We would for sure be friends.

Goldie Lockes was also in my class at school along with a boy named David G. He was the class punk and by far the most annoying kid in class, probably the whole school. When my new friend threatened to knock his block off, I’m pretty sure he thought she was bluffing. Too bad for him! When their fight was over –he had a broken arm, and she had a wide grin. She was an instant class hero! To be honest, I was glad she had the guts to do something the rest of us all wanted to do, but didn’t have the strength or courage. I think we all were. Especially since David G. wasn’t half as bad afterwards. In the fourth (or was it fifth?) grade getting your butt kicked by a girl can be quite humiliating.

Since then I’ve always been glad to call the girl who is now The Mombabe my friend.