Currently, my four year old is singing a song called, “Nobody be’d my friend today… Nobody be’d my friend.”
Those are all the words, and she’s decided that nobody be’d her friend because I told her to get in the shower.
And then she didn’t.
So then I said, “Get. In. The. Shower.”
And she was all (runs and hides in the closet)
And then I was all “GET in the SHOWER”
And she turned on the water, and that’s all. She just turned it on, AND STARED AT IT.
So THEN I yanked her dirty clothes off her body and put her in the shower myself.
So she stood in the absolute furthest corner of the shower so that she wouldn’t get wet.
So then I took the shower hose and put THAT right over her head, and then while she was crying and complaining about the horror of it all, I just kept moving the shower hose in time with her full body tantrum spasms.
And right now, people with children are laughing and nodding and maybe just experienced something similar.
Of course, not ALL the people with children are laughing. Because, you know, SOME parents would want to TALK about WHY you don’t want to have a shower, and is it scary? Was it blah-dee-dah-bull-crap? And to those parents I say, ah-ha. Ah-ha. Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. Talk is cheap, and your kid smells funny.