March 10, 2011

I need a shirt that reads…

I’ve begun physical therapy.

I had my “evaluation” which was a big fat joke.

But Caroline, why was it a big fat joke?

Because, readers, I had no idea how messed up my ankle was.

Just for kicks, let’s do a pseudo-evaluation together.

Stand up…

Good.

Now balance on your left foot.

Hold it.

Hold it.

How does that feel? Are you a little wobbly? That’s okay.

Put your foot down.

NOW.

Let’s balance on our right foot.

Can you do it?

SHOW OFF.

People: I CANNOT STAND ON MY RIGHT FOOT UNSUPPORTED.

So I held on to a wall with one hand, and the bed with the other,

And I could barely stand on that foot.

Also of note: it was wobbling violently.

Also wanted: a shirt that reads “I wobble violently.”

(because that would be awesome)

At any rate, I’m supposed to go to physical therapy three times a week.

bah-ha-ha-ha.

JOKE’S ON YOU MOONBOUNCE.

I can’t think of anything I’d like to do more than pay $50 per visit for physical therapy.

Okay, in reality this stinks, and I’m supposed to go in 3x’s a week, but really, I’m only going to go in once a week.

Because HELLO CO-PAY.

(This would be a good time to be Canadian.)

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