Last night, my eye felt funny, so instead of staying up late and working, I went to bed. Before 10pm. AMAZING, I KNOW.
But then this morning, when I woke up, it still felt funny. And my eyelashes were bumping on my eyelid, which was entirely new and awkward for me.
I went into the bathroom to investigate, and lo and behold, my eyelid was swollen. But not the entire thing, no. Only HALF of one eyelid was swollen.
Naturally, I googled my symptom (one. singular.) and apparently this in an ENTIRELY NEW PHENOMENON.
I mean, I don't even have a courtesy itch. Or drooping. Or redness. Or twitching. And there's no pus. I mean, DO I EVEN HAVE AN EYE PROBLEM IF IT'S NOT OOZING PUS?
And then google accused me of having reconstructive eye surgery and trying to keep it a secret and told me I should just call the doctor that performed said surgery and to stop being so secretive. AS IF I COULD KEEP A SECRET.... I HAVE CHILDREN.
Have you ever tried to have a secret around children? Of course you have. And then you've had to explain to the Primary teacher that that doesn't mean what you think it means, but it doesn't matter because their kids aren't allowed to play at your house anymore and for the love of all that is holy, WHY DO YOU TRUST A 5 YEAR OLD OVER ME ANYWAY... hypothetically of course.
DadGuy suggested I take an Allegra, and since I'm all for the use of any type of drug in medical situations, I did. But it isn't working. I don't know why I listen to him.
In a nutshell, MY EYELID IS BROKEN.