May 3, 2009

A friend of mine passed away this weekend.

I can't get her out of my head. I keep picturing her laughing and smiling. I keep returning to the same thought over and over. How? She was healthy, and happy. She was a devoted wife, mother, sister, and friend. She was warm and caring, compassionate and beautiful. She was healthy. How could things go so wrong so quickly?

I think of her husband and how devastating this must be for him. I think of the children she left behind, the little boys that will have to grow up without her gentle guidance.

I think of her.

I see her face and I hear her voice.... I have so many questions I want to ask her.

Did you know it was the end? Did you tell your kids you loved them? Is there anything you want to say to them? Are you scared?

I try and piece together her last moments. I try to sort out what I would do. What I would say. She's only been gone a moment, and even though her time here is finished, she's taught me so much.

She's taught me that I need to be my best every day.

That I need to hold tight to the people I love because in an instant, it can be gone.

That I need to develop a closer relationship with my Heavenly Father.

That there is only today.... there might not be a tomorrow.

I wish it hadn't happened this way. Then I think about how maybe this was another part of her purpose here on earth. To teach us all that life is about the moments, the little things. That there is a greater plan working than we know. That maybe we're focused on the wrong things.

I see her smile...