Do you remember your wedding night? Was it magical? Mine was. And not for the reasons you're probably thinking. (Get your mind out of the gutter. Besides, we were MAN AND WIFE)
Our wedding day was wonderful, because, duh, it was our wedding day.
But DadGuy was a little bit worried about his one true love, Big Red.
You see, Big Red was DadGuy's pride and joy. DadGuy would spend hours cleaning her, and polishing her, and whispering sweet nothings to her. He would spend his free moments with her because they had the same taste in music (bad) and they liked to see the same kind of movies (dumb) and Big Red never talked back either. (but she was thinking it hon, oh, SHE WAS THINKING THINGS.)
Anyways, you know that when you get married, someone always has the brilliant idea to decorate your car. It's like a right of passage or something.
Well, DadGuy threatened everyone that joked about it. He even tried to hide Big Red... Alas, she was found.
And whip creamed, and saran wrapped, and had oreo's stuck all over her windows. They even had the gall to tie CANS and SHOES to her bumper. (Ugly shoes at that.)
DadGuy was livid, Big Red was embarrassed, and I was about to get mad.
Because I spent my wedding night....
Oh yes, after a wonderful day of family and friends and love and presents, we headed to the local CAR WASH so that Big Red wouldn't have to drive around town looking like a cheap hussy.
AND we didn't even go to an automatic car wash. No, we were in a tuxedo, and a beautiful, white, princessy wedding dress with matching white beaded high heels, SCRUBBING OREOS AND LICORICE OFF THE WINDSHIELD.
It was every bit as romantic as you can imagine.
P.S. to all you jerks that drove by and laughed at me that night? I still hate you.